No, you don’t need talking points on index cards or a script you’ve rehearsed, but a solid strategy to increase the chances of chemistry can’t hurt.
If a mutual friend set you up, unpack how each of you knows them. If you’re not sure how to jump into a conversation, comment about something in your environment.
For starters, you could ask them if they've ever been to the coffee shop, park or wherever they proposed to meet, before, or if they spend significant time in that neighborhood, says Carbino.
“You could then quickly segue into a broader conversation about the city, food, travel, or another topic, based upon the cues you pick up initially,” she adds.“A first date is all about showing interest,” says Dr. Greer suggests trying the following: 'How did you decide to go into this line of work? ' Another way to approach this topic: 'Is there anyone who inspired you to pursue your career or stick it out, though you may have faced challenges? '” Getting your date to elaborate will reveal more about their personality and interests.
But some things are just not negotiable, like, wanting to have kids or needing to live in a particular region.
“If you’re super religious and you know that's important to you, for instance, ask about that,” says Kevin Fredricks who co-hosts podcast with his wife.
Do so by asking questions they’ve likely seldom or never answered, says Fredericks, like: What’s your fondest memory of elementary school? Of course, try to ease these in naturally or else you'll sound like you just read... “Really show your curiosity and encourage them to tell you more. “The first date is about overall compatibility,” says Fredericks.