Sure, he wouldn’t be spending any time if he wasn’t attracted to you, but if he’s solely texting, he doesn’t think of you as a potential partner. You know what you need to know: he isn’t a good, grownup man worth your time. A text ‘relationship’ is simply like being a player in a game.
Expecting him to move on to something more serious isn’t realistic. There are so many ways to know if a man is a serious guy who is interested in getting to know you. It’s a type of false connection that sets up incredibly unrealistic assumptions and expectations.
He sent her pictures of the baseball game he attended. She told him about her car trouble and he responded ‘why didn’t you ask me to come help? And, most importantly, how you can take control of the situation – like a grownup! If you are like Sue, Lila or Melissa, here is what you need to know: Continuous texting, when void of in-person meeting, creates a false sense of connection.
Do not assume that getting a bunch of texts from a guy means you are having a relationship. If a man is choosing to only text or primarily text, he’s not showing signs of wanting to get to know you in a meaningful way. Whether it’s because they found someone else, were just playing or because they got scared — that’s 100% immaterial. You feel like you are getting to know one another, but that is not what’s happening.
Or a “looking forward to slurping spaghetti with you Friday.” Let him know you’re thinking of him and appreciate him. If he sees your picture and profile and wants to meet you, the hunter in him wants to get directly to the result: meeting you. They feel that chatting first just gets in the way and would rather skip the phone and/or email.
And if he is serious about meeting a woman for a real relationship, he will step up.Over the past few years it seems that almost every dating dilemma I hear from my coaching clients and girlfriends has something to do with texting. He told her how busy he was and she felt flattered that he was keeping in touch.Texting and dating definitely isn’t just for 20 year olds anymore. “Melissa” stayed up until 3 AM texting with her dude. She wants to know how to stop obsessing over him being The One.You probably know the guy who texts once in a while as a kind of check in.
He tells you how much he likes you and even acts super interested in your life. He says how busy he is and how he’d really love to see you soon. If you haven’t met him yet and he’s texting to see if you can get together on short notice, don’t be flattered.
So…the bottom line on texting and dating is this: use texting sparingly, wisely and, most of all, don’t read too much into it.